The battle of the nicodemon !

Urgh. I'm embarrassed and ashamed to say - I was a smoker for nearly 10 years. With the exception of a year when I was pregnant and just after lucy was born, that is nearly 10 years of being addicted to the Nicodemon ! ( Nicotine Demon LOL ! )

Well, enough is enough. Here are the reasons for me quitting

1. I love my family more than anything. I cannot let them see my slowly killing myself. I need to be there to see my daughter grow up.

2. I want to feel better. I'm sick of feeling sick, and knowing that me smoking is the thing thats making me sick.

3. I want to smell nice, and taste nice. Poor shane, having to live with an ashtray

4. I want my skin to glow, and not look grey and pallor.

5. I want to save money. Over the past 10 years, I would have spent around $25000 on cigarettes. That is absurd and criminal.

6. I want to prepare my body to be as healthy as can be for when I fall pregnant again.

7. I don't want to be constantly thinking about where I can smoke, when I can have my next one. I'm sick of them ruling my life.

8. I hate being anti social within my friends - out of about 20 of us, only 3 smoke. Now it's only 2.

9. I want to be proud of myself, for changing my life

10. I want to live a clean life !

I am currently on day 6 of not smoking. The first 3 days I used a patch, which was a little bit of a help, but I think it's the nicotine withdrawal symptoms over the past 2 days which have been the worst.

The main symptom I'm feeling is insomnia. It's so hard to fall asleep, I feel like my mind is racing at a million miles an hour ! Last night was one of the first nights I actually got some sleep, thanks to some Valerian tablets !

I can't say I'm not still thinking about smoking. Hell, I even dreamed I was smoking last night. But when I woke up this morning, and I realised it was just a dream, I was so happy with myself.

I am feeling cleaner, have more energy and my skin is looking better. I've already saved $38.40 in the past 6 days on not smoking !

The big test will be tomorrow. Back to work after 2 week on holidays. But I'm determined to do it !

Could this year BE any worse?

To anyone who actually follows this blog, my apologies for not updating for a while. My reason - partial busyness, partial laziness !

So leading into 2010, with a great NY dress up party, I thought to myself - gee, this is going to be a great year !

My god, how wrong I was. The first couple of months have been so stressing/taxing/downright shit. Here's a list of what has gone wrong the past 3 months

Clothes dryer caught on fire and now doesnt' work

Ducted Air conditioner broke down again, and of course during a heat wave

Had to return to work full time ( sob )

Being utterly broke majority of the year

Shane being in pain due to his tooth for about 6 weeks, and me having to hear all about it

Shane finally getting in to see dentist, and then subsequent operation to remove tooth

over $1000 bills for tooth removal - and that is WITH health insurance

A case of shingles for me

A case of gastro for lucy

and probably the worst thing - my car died. Yes, my poor little corolla has given up the ghost. I don't have the money to get it repaired, so I sold it to the wreckers for $300. I cried that day.

I took my baby home from the hospital in that car.

So, we are now the middle of march, and I'm sure I've done my dash with bad luck. I really hope so !

Fat Bottom Girls, You Make The Rockin World Go Round

Ah, the joys of youth, energy, hot hair and being 20kg's less than what I weigh now. A girlfriend of mine found this gem from a big night circa 2005/2006. I'm middle right with the blonde hair and teal necklace. And I look a hell of a lot different there than I do now ( doesn't help the other 3 are stunners ! )

When I saw this photo yesterday, I was so excited, because I think I look great in it ! I was in a happy place, a great time in my life and was fit, healthy and fabulous. I was loving life, on top of the world.

The meloncholy then commenced. A few tears were shed. How can I have let myself go? What happened to me? Sure, I had a baby, but I weighed less when I was pg with Lucy than I do now !!! How's that an exuse?

The feelings then subdued to one of determination. That's It I said to myself - no more. I'm going to take myself back to that time. I want to get fit, healthy, and get myself to a place where I'm not ashamed to wear a strapless dress, or show my legs above the knees. I NEED to get healthy, to keep up with the rampaging toddler that demands my undivided attention and energy.

First Step - exercise. I can tell you the exact last time I exercised. It was when my dear best friend ( and principle motivator ! ) and I went for a walk/run - ( She ran, I walked ). It was on Tuesday 27th October. That was the last time I did any actual exercise.

So, the treadmill is getting a dust off. Also, I have purchased a workout DVD ! On a pretty big forum that I occasionally ready, there is an entire thread devoted to it ! It's Jillian Michaels from the USA Biggest Loser - called 30 Day Shred. It's supposed to be a great workout, and it only goes for 20 minutes !!! I have researched it a bit, and a fair few people have got good results, so I will keep you all posted on how it's going !

DP and I have set the alarm at 5.30 each morning, to get up and do this DVD before we go to work. Both times, snooze has been hit, and we both drift off into lala land. Ooops.

Next post I'll tell you all about my love hate relationship with food. Oh food, glorious food.

xx

I know Oscar by name, I will tell him you like dress

After a morning of early morning cuddles with my baby, followed by a quick play on the swingset, we ventured down to the torrens island markets to purchase our fruit and veg for the week. With a promise of ' I'll be good girl mummy ', L was strapped into her stroller, and our first purchase was a banana to keep her entertained.

The sights, sounds and smells of this riverside market never fail to amaze, nay disgust me at times. I just fail to see how the vendors of these markets cannot survive their morning without disgusting smelling cigarettes hanging from their lips, all while hacking into mammoth size watermelons, and trying to cajole the shopper into purchasing their wares. The waft of this sickly smoke made me nearly retch, and yet, I am a smoker ( as DP so kindly pointed out to me ).

All in all we did get some bargains - ruby red tomatoes, fresh picked off the vines, delicious yellow nectarines, bag of carrots for 99cents. This will certainly assist in my aim to be as frugal as possible this year, which I will probably blog a fair bit about this year !

When we got home, the little one went off to dream of ballerinas and trains ( her two favourite interests at the moment ). It was then that I decided to take a break and settle in to watch Sex and The City reruns on foxtell.

The re-occuring UTI problem I have reared it's ugly head, and I have pretty much managed to spend most of the day on the couch, feeling pretty blah. Alltogether, I watched 9 episodes of my favourite show, and although season 6 is by far my favourite, it certainly does have inspiring clothing, especially when Carrie is dating the Russian.

The lolly pink Oscar De La Renta dress that Alexandr buys for Carrie, is one of my favourite pieces I've ever seen on the show. I'm no fashion plate by any means, but I know a timeless piece when I see it, and my gosh I'd give my right arm for a dress like that.

Hating Alison Ashley

I must have read Hating Allison Ashley by Robin Klein at least 15 times as a child. I related to Yuk ( Erica Yurken ), and her day to day troubles. I wanted to be friends with Alison Ashley, with her long blonde hair, perfect packed lunch, and glorious mansion. Most of all, I read it as I loved the diary. Oh dear diary, what you would have been filled with had I kept one as a child. My best friend ever, the visionary Candice still has all her diaries from high school. I have a box with one love letter, a broken glass swan ( gift from a HS boyfriend ), and a copy of my year 12 results.

This will be my dear diary, a place for me to scribe my daily doings, blog about my beloveds, post my pop culture obsessions, and hopefully highlight the fact that yes, I do actually achieve some things in my life, I just need a chance to document it, before it all fades away into distant memories.

Enjoy